Stay with me; by the end of this post I hope to have found some peace with my hijab.
On most days (ok practically everyday) I am bothered by it. The extra piece fabric requires more thought to make simple daily outfits, the challenge to dress myself becoming only more annoying. Running to Trader Joe's for a loaf of bread becomes a public display of religion. Blending in is not easy, as I am often the sore thumb sticking out in a sea of blond, brunette and red. And that's just the part on my head. Hijab encompasses me head to toe, my entire wardrobe, and hence the challenge continues.
Come summer, my life becomes even more difficult. Heat and hijab just don't mix. My general unhappiness only increases.
Over the course of my teenage and adult life, I have always been told nice things about hijab. It's your mark of honor as a Muslim. It's an invitation to non-Muslims to learn about Islam. It's a sign of modesty. It protects you from all sorts of things. But here I am 15 years later, and on most days, I still have trouble coming to terms with wearing hijab. So my conclusion is all these people who have told me these things over the years are not speaking to me. That is not the point of hijab, and that is not why I wear hijab.
I wear it because I have to. It is undoubtedly an order from Allah, and we as His subjects have no choice in the matter. I know many scholars have their reasons about why Allah had chosen hijab for women, such as the ones mentioned earlier.
By the way, my least favorite reason for hijab has always been "because it protects us from men." Why in the world would we have to suffer for the intentions and actions of others? It never made sense to me.
My reasoning takes a different path. I believe we have to wear hijab because, like everything else around us, it is simply a test. This is the part where some girls may object, but I hold that we woman are in constant need of vanity. We like to look beautiful, feel beautiful, be told
we are beautiful. We like to have and hold beautiful things. Our confidence, our comfort in situations, and our self esteem is all tied to how we look, to ourselves and to others. I've known simple girls, girls who aren't into the latest fashions, or purses, or shoes, but even those girls have the need to be appreciated.
Being that Allah created us, He of course knew this fact about us. He took what was precious to us, and is testing us with this fact. Just like He is testing the opposite gender with us. Why put so many beautiful woman on Earth, then tell men to behave with them?
So in conclusion: it's just a test.
P.S. The picture is logo from Pink Hijab Day 2011.
