Realisation

I am sitting in my car waiting for Noor to wake up so we can attend a baby shower. I browse Facebook on my phone and someone posted a status about a salah how to chart for kids.

And then it hit me.  Up until now my concerns have been making sure she has enough dresses,  gets her naps in,  has enough playtime with other kids. But so far this has all been the easy stuff right?  

As she gets older, how will I teach her right from wrong and modesty in her actions? For now prayer is a fun exercise for her, but how do I convince her it's her entry to jennah? How do I even get her to believe in jennah and the akhirah and look past this life? How can I get her to love the Quran? How do I get her to love learning?

Perhaps the when is as important as the how.  When do we parents look past the tickling, play fighting, ABC 's and silly songs?  I don't believe in sending our kids to preschool with $20k a year tuition either, but I have not yet decided what will be best for Noor.

I know there is no ONE right answer. And in the grand scheme of all this, it falls back on the nature vs. nurture debate, with no clear conclusion.  While I continue to try to work it all out and determine what is going to be best for her,there is one thing I can do right now. I can, God willing, be the best version of me there may be (I hope).  I can just be in front of her as an example. Maybe, just maybe, she will pick something up, on her own time. But I won't push it. For now we'll work on mastering wheels on the bus.

Wake up, Sameera

My dear A.A. told me once she read somewhere that sometimes you see people who have passed away in your dreams, that it means that your souls are meeting. It was a sweet and beautiful thought. We stumbled onto this discussion because we were talking about Rehab.

I wonder if it's true. I would imagine my encounter with Rehab to go like this:
"Rehab I missed you so much"
"I missed you too Meera, how have you been?"
"I am good Alhamdulilah"
"Are you sure"
"What do you mean?"
"You are the same person I left behind. How can that be? Have you learned nothing from me?"

And then I'd wake up, and feel the guilt and disappointment in myself all over again. For forgetting the lessons Rehab worked so hard to teach those around her. And losing the gifts she left for me along the way, leaving my compassion behind, forgoing any ounce of patience I may have in me for the impetuousness I am more inclined towards. And most importantly, putting my faith in Allah last in times of need, trying every possible way to ease a situation and asking Allah for help as a last resort, when it should be my first step.  How could I forgive myself for forsaking her biggest gift to me: total and utter reliance on Allah.  Without this, I stand no chance in this world.

Well, I won't be too ambitious, because I know I may not wake up tomorrow and start building a school from the ground up, or travel to a far away country to help feed the needy.  But I will start tonight, God willing.  As the Bible states "Charity begins at home." I can do this.  So can you.

Vacation Plus One

I have recently started to appreciate the numerous blessings of travel. To see and experience new places and things, see how diverse our world is. To eat awesome food. Maybe the best part. Having the chance to spend the time traveling with my husband, getting to know each others' likes and dislikes, developing more patience for each other, as we work through the stresses that travel can bring. And finally to come home and appreciate all the comforts I have waiting for me. We have indeed been blessed to have the means and opportunity to travel over the course of our marriage. Not big trips all the time. But even a 1.5 hour drive to Mystic, Ct. was memorable in its' own way.

As the weather heats up in New Jersey, people around me are heading out on "holiday". I guess our generation is still young enough that we associate summer with vacation, as if we were still in school, and with June around the corner, the "summer vacation" bell is ringing loud and clear. My brother left today with his wife for Florida. My friend A.A. and her husband are traipsing around Italy.

We were very fortunate to have just returned from London with our daughter. It was a wonderful 6 days, and I like to look through our 500+ pictures every few days. I don't always do that with vacation pictures, but something's different this time. Our Plus One. Vacations in the past always felt like something was missing. The husband and I would take pictures of each other in front of landmarks, or shyly scour the crowd for a kind stranger who would take our picture, without running away with our camera. It was awkward. And sad, to come home from vacation but look at pictures of each of us alone, as if we were on the trip by ourselves. Where was the proof of all the cool things we did together?

At least this time we had the baby in our pictures, her face capturing the excitement and adventure of our London journey. We even managed a few family pictures, courtesy of my awesome host, A.A.

I thought having a baby would make the journey more difficult, but it was not the case at all. It was nice to plan things for the three of us, and wonderful to see her enjoy herself. It made us enjoy what we were doing even more so.

So to my brother and A.A., take your next vacation with a baby, I promise it will be even more fun ;)

(Noor seeing the world through her own eyes at the Museum of Science)