The grass is always greener on the other side

I have several circles of friends, and all kinds of friends, and the one thing that predominates my conversations everywhere I go is our happiness as mothers.

Sometimes, we sit and vent; we have to in order to feel sane and know that what we are going through will not kill us. There are things in our lives we love and hate, and things we hate but can't live without.

And then there is motherhood.  From the outside, one side always seems to have it better.  The mommies who are stay at home, like myself, often wonder if we are missing out on the outside world. Why do the moms who work seem to have more fun with their kids on weekends and when they come home? What is their secret? Why aren't they fighting with their two year old like I am?

And then the mommies who work are sitting at their job missing their kids, sometimes in tears. They come home in time to put them to sleep. They may miss the first time the baby sat up, the baby's first steps. "Is it worth it?" they wonder day in and out.

I always thought working part time would be a happy medium, but I find the mothers who do so are also not content.

So there it is. In case you were wondering, no one is 100% pleased with their situation. You think you can always do more, spend more time, feel more fulfilled. But that may never happen. So it's time to go back to the old adage that YOU control YOUR happiness. So be happy with that two hours a day, even if you are rolling around on the sofa having a tickle fight. The dishes can wait (or start using paper plates, sorry if I am not being an environmentalist).

Stop comparing yourself to the single woman at work who's been on the job for 15 years and be proud of what you have accomplished. If you want to do more, then go for it and be proactive.

And if you miss your kids, go home to them. You can't have it both ways moms. I pray that Allah gives us the means to be able to choose what makes us happy.

So whatever you select, be happy with it now AND later; do not turn it into something you regret a few years down the line.  Have faith that Allah put you where you are for a reason, and that's what you are supposed to be doing, at least at this point in your life.

As for myself, after two years of complaining, I am 98% content in being a stay at home mom to two beautiful, amazing challenging girls. The 2% is for those days they drive me nuts :)