On being 3*

This past month, April 1st, I turned 3*. If you don't already know, in addition to being my age, I am two years older than my husband, which I never feel except when I am reminded of it.

I guess I have had a rough couple of weeks with my daughter. She turned one on march 7th, and sleep has become even more elusive. She hasn't been sleeping well at all, often ending up wedged between my husband and myself on our *gasp* queen size bed, in my desperate attempts to lie down for more than one consecutive hour. Getting out of bed constantly was not cutting it. In her defense, she is going throughout a LOT. She just started walking recently and cannot rest for a second; she is a bundle of energy. And then let's not forget her newest additions, two adorable front teeth coming in; she's been pretty miserable at night teething, which means I've been pretty miserable at night. At this point I would do anything for a night of quality sleep. Almost anything.

I didn't know how bad it had gotten until I shared my feelings with two dear friends recently. I asked them if they ever felt as old as I did. They are also in their 30's, but several kids ahead of me, and I have seen them with their kids. Loving, energetic, willing and seemingly able to go to any length to play with, entertain, or even just hang out. And here I am on my first child, feeling overwhelmed more often than not, wondering on some days if I have the energy to take care of her until bedtime. Or hoping someone would come home soon to help keep her busy. And if I am this way now, by the time she is 15, I might as well be following her around with cane. I know of a friend whose father told her "having children ages you", but in my case it seemed to do so exponentially.

Well I want to thank you, M and J, for reminding me that I am ONLY in my thirties. I may feel like this off and on, but it does not mean I am already old. And that one day, inshalah, I may feel young again. In fact you were right. She started sleeping a teensy bit more decent, as did I, and that gave me an extra ounce or two of energy throughout my day. It wasn't much, but a big help.

Bless you both for reminding me that I am not a senior citizen.

However I had a relapse yesterday. I went to sleep shortly after the baby did. Missing what was possibly the biggest news in months: the demise of Osama bin Laden. So note to self: do not sleep at the same time as a one year old. It's just sad.