The workday

I have been applying to jobs here and there, asking former employers to keep an eye out for me. I have days where I thoroughly enjoy being at home, then days where I am down on myself, feeling like a loser because I don't have a job. Then I quickly remind myself, if I can't find a job, it is surely the doing of Allah who is guiding me towards my daughter and the precious time we have together. Alhamdulilah.

And here I am, for the first time since Jan. 2010, at work. It's not permanent, who knows if I'll even be called back, but I am working an 11-7 shift today at CBS News.

I got the call last night around 9 pm. Even though it was late, and I had plans for Sunday, I jumped on it. You see I have not yet resolved what it is I am. A stay at home mom or a working mom?

Even though it's only one day, I am looking forward to reuniting with my daughter in 3 hours, to see the look on her face. Of course I have left her before, but never for this long. Will she welcome me? Or will she be upset, confused, where could I have gone, left her for so long? The clock hand is simply not moving fast enough.

For all the mommies out there

This is a poem from one of my favorite poets, Khalil Gibran.
Gibran was born in Lebanon in 1883. His family immigrated to Boston, where he began his literary career. Though he was also an artist, he is perhaps best known in the English world for his book "The Prophet."

History lesson is over, here is the poem.


On Children
 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Come join the club

My friend Dalal shared this fantastic website recently.

http://growmama.com/

It's an online community for Muslims moms. A club I am proud to be a member of, Alhamdulilah. Please join. Noor needs more friends.

My weight loss secret

Believe it or not I weigh less now than I a little over a year ago. My amazing diet secret is...are you ready for this?... my daughter.

I knew children can be challenging, albeit rewarding, sometimes drive you up the wall, and generally cause your hair to turn gray. But someone should have told me about this very positive side affect. Hearing about how much energy they take, and experiencing it for myself are two entirely different things. My daughter Noor is absolutely non-stop, around the clock ball of fun, wanting constant play and interaction. I find her need for play most rewardng for those of us who love her the most. She loves us back and shows it in her constant smile and laughter. May Allah always keep her smiling.

But I must admit, it it hard for me to remain grateful for this, especially around 4 pm, when my back hurts, and my eyes are getting droopy, and Noor is (of course) full speed ahead. It's time for me to push myself to keep going. Just as if I'm on a treadmill. But weight loss is not my motivation, really. It's that big smile, with those two tiny teeth proudly on display.